My dear friends hello! I write to you late in the afternoon, having spent the day working on the computer and realising I have missed my regular yoga class times. I feel a sense of guilt that I haven’t nurtured my body and spirit doing yoga, though I did succeed in my spiritual practice today. I am reminded how highly active I used to be, having been a Type A personality, doing too much and collapsing as a result.
When we suffer from CFS, as frustrating as we may find it, our bodies and foggy brain are a constant reminder of our limitations. Though our spirit pushes us to do more, when we are fatigued, we just can’t be Bothered! That prompts the question: How do we differentiate between what we can do in any given day with being bothered?
I realise that my lifestyle has changed a lot as a result of CFS. I spend a lot of time alone, quiet and lately going out in the evening is a real effort. The up side is I am dedicated to mind, spirit, body and disciplined in my active approach. The down side is it tends to be isolating, especially working from one’s home office. I knew I had to attend a friend’s 50th Birthday Party on the weekend, I was so honoured to share that with her.
At the party, I realised it had been ages since I just had fun! It didn’t matter that I was back home for midnight. It was a great reminder when a friend talked about making an effort to go out and feel the sand between her toes as she lives minutes from the beach. She even voiced my own thoughts about getting dressed up to go somewhere and being bothered to do it. I was really grateful to hear that coming from someone who is simply similar in age, not a CFS Sufferer.
I made two conclusions from that. One, to make an effort and two, that we are only human and can do no more than our best, with what we have, at any given time. So lets not beat ourselves up. Lately I have been ensuring I have some social contact daily and that’s all I really need. When I have engagements, I just need to prepare my energy for them, whether that means waking up later, or going to bed earlier, or resting in between. Its best to go to bed at 10pm anyway, as that is the ideal time for the body to restore itself.
What I love about life is that we continually learn and grow and that gives us the ability to Give!
With Love and Light,